


a softer world

by ravaged_by_fandom



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, M/M, mention of jimmy novak, mention of meg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-08
Updated: 2014-10-08
Packaged: 2018-02-20 09:13:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2423273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravaged_by_fandom/pseuds/ravaged_by_fandom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At some fuzzy point in the future, despite the constant pain and insanity that encompasses their lives, Dean and Castiel share a quiet moment. Then Sam interrupts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a softer world

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this awhile ago and just found it on my computer, so I decided to upload it cause I thought it was quite sweet.

Dean spotted Castiel standing in the middle of the empty warehouse, miraculously alive and well, though a bit worse for wear. Dean’s steps faltered as a profound relief washed over him. Casiel noticed his entrance, fixing Dean with his usual intense stare, but there was a glimmer of relief there, too. Dean mentally shook himself before striding over to his angel and grasping his shoulders, perhaps a bit too tightly, but he needed to feel that Cas was here and he was real.

Castiel seemed to study Dean’s expression before dropping his gaze, like he couldn’t cope with what he saw there. “I’m alright, Dean,” he reassured quietly, his warm breath ghosting across Dean’s neck.

Dean’s searching gaze swept over Castiel’s face, lingering for a beat on his perpetually chapped lips. He licked his own subconsciously, then leaned forward and pressed a soft, chaste kiss against those lips and pulled away. His breath mingled with Castiel’s in the small space between them. He kept his eyes squeezed shut, imploring the moment to last beyond the limits imposed on him by his increasingly unfair life. When he finally found the courage to open them, Castiel was staring at him.

“Dean, I ….” Castiel barely managed, his eyes imploring Dean to understand his inner turmoil.

Dean completed the thought in his mind: I can’t. I shouldn’t. I am an angel. But Dean didn’t care about God’s rules or Castiel’s angelic obligations. They had broken so many rules already, and they had honestly given enough. They deserved this little piece of happiness, and for once in Dean’s life, he was going to take something for himself. "Please, Cas." Castiel nodded nervously and Dean pressed another, firmer kiss against Castiel’s parted lips before he could further voice his shallow objections.

After a tense moment, Castiel sighed and melted into Dean. His hands gripped the material of Dean’s sleeves, holding them pressed together.

Dean slid his mouth from Castiel’s lips before peppering kisses along his jaw and wrapping a hand along the back of Castiel’s neck.

“Dean … I've wanted this for so long.”

Dean pulled back to stare at Castiel, unsure how to respond. He had wanted this, too, and he wondered how much sooner they could have had it if not for their own special brand of bullshit. Finally, he managed to choke out, “Me, too, Cas.” His smile was small, but fond.

Castiel returned the smile tentatively, like he couldn’t quite believe what was happening.

Dean kissed him a third time, slowly licking his way behind the lips he had dreamed of so often. The kiss was a slow burn, just the two of them testing the waters and enjoying what they found. There was heat, certainly, but that could be explored later. For now, they were both so very glad that the other was alive and that they had managed to find this through the darkness that seemed to perpetually surround them.

The sound of someone clearing their throat disrupted the kiss, and both Dean and Castiel turned toward the direction of the noise. Sam stood awkwardly in the doorway, shuffling his feet and looking anywhere but them.

“Hey, Sammy,” Dean grinned, not bothering to pull away from Castiel. “I found Cas.”

“I can see that,” Sam huffed warmly, finally meeting Dean’s eyes. He looked relieved, too. “You guys need a moment, or?”

Dean turned back to Castiel, who was watching him intently. “No, we’re good.” He put an arm around Castiel’s shoulders and led him to the door. “Let’s get the hell out of here.”

Outside, Dean was busy rearranging the trunk to house all of the junk they usually kept in the backseat of the Impala. Sam realized he was making room for Castiel, who had suddenly made himself scarce. Sam stood awkwardly next to the car before once again clearing his throat.

“You alright there, Sammy?” Dean asked, arching his brow.

“So, uh … No ‘Big Gay Panic?’” Sam asked bluntly.

Dean sighed and leaned heavily against the car, schooling his thoughts for a moment. “Look, I had my … ‘Big Gay Panic’ awhile ago,” he answered.

“What?” Sam was skeptical. He had never observed such an incident, and he was sure it would have been hard to miss. “When?”

Dean fixed him squarely with an incredulous look. “Does it matter?”

“Well … No, I guess.” Sam contemplated that a moment. “I just … Why didn’t you tell me?”

Dean looked around helplessly. “Because it was my own damn business, and we had so much other shit going on, it just didn’t seem important.” He locked eyes with Sam. He was wearing what Castiel called his “serious face.” “It doesn’t change who I am.”

Sam was taken aback. “Of course not, Dean!” He ran a hand through his hair. “I just can’t believe I never noticed.”

“Would it have changed anything? Does it change anything?” Dean was defiantly trying to hide his apprehension.

Sam sighed. "Of course not.”

“Good.” Dean stood up and slammed the trunk closed. “Cause I have filled my chick flick quota for the freakin’ year. Maybe even the decade.”

Sam laughed. Nope, his brother hadn’t changed at all.

Castiel finally joined them next to the car. Sam wondered if he had avoided them specifically so they could have this conversation. He watched how his brother’s eyes lit up when he turned to Castiel, a small smile tugging at his lips.

Castiel returned the smile. “Hello, Dean.”

“Hey, Cas,” Dean replied, soft and easy.

In that moment, Sam was struck by how happy Dean was, how at peace, and he wondered how he had never seen it before, when now it seemed so obvious.

When they all turned to pile into the Impala, Sam placed a hand on Castiel’s shoulder as he began to lower himself into the backseat. Castiel looked at him in that adorably confused way of his.

“Why don’t you take shotgun,” Sam offered.

Castiel nodded. “Thank you, Sam.”

Dean was surprised to see Castiel climb in beside him. He looked at Sam in the rearview mirror and grinned. It was the closest thing to “thank you” Sam was going to get. It was all he needed.

Dean turned the key in the ignition, and the engine roared to life. The radio blared out AC/DC at ear-shattering levels. Sam groaned loudly. Dean laughed and began to sing along, while Castiel sat quietly watching him. Nothing had really changed, except that everyone was a bit happier, and that was a change Sam could get behind.

~*~

After several hours of driving in the general direction of their next case, Dean spotted a motel on the side of the highway, another ancient relic left over from America’s pre-freeway heyday. They had stayed in worse places. Dean led the trio into the office, grinning with his usual charm at the lone occupant. The man behind the desk looked up from his book and eyed them warily. “Can I help you boys?”

“You got any double twins?” Dean asked.

The man huffed. “Got plenty. Two rooms?”

“Just one,” Dean replied, knowing Castiel would sleeplessly occupy the seat closest to his bed.

“All three of you in just the one room?” He squinted suspiciously.

Dean was about to affirm this, when Sam stepped up. “No, actually. We’ll take two rooms, one queen each.” He glanced at Dean and shrugged.

Dean huffed awkwardly before nodding. “What he said.”

The manager did not seem pleased, but he checked them in none-the-less and handed them the keys to their rooms. Dean snatched his key and marched out of the office. Sam and Castiel traded concerned looks before following. They found Dean rummaging for his duffle in the trunk of the Impala.

“You ok, Dean?” Sam asked warily. He glanced at Castiel, who had stayed several feet away and seemed to be pointedly examining the peeling façade of the motel.

Dean leaned against the trunk and sighed. “Yeah, I just …” He looked at Castiel. “I didn’t want to push him too fast, you know?”

Sam’s eyes widened in realization. “Oh, crap! I am so sorry! I didn’t even think-“

“Its fine, Sammy.” Dean closed his eyes in exasperation. “Just cause we’re sharing a bed doesn’t mean… Don’t worry about it.” He pulled the duffle out and closed the trunk. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Sam nodded and watched as Dean walked over to Castiel. He placed his hand on the small of Castiel’s back and led him toward their room. After they had gone inside, Sam shouldered his backpack and headed for his own room.

Once inside, Dean moved his hand. He walked toward the lone bed and dropped the duffle on top of the comforter. Turning back toward Castiel, he smiled apologetically. “Sorry about this.”

“Why are you apologizing?” Castiel frowned.

“Well, I wasn’t sure if you were ready for …” Dean cleared his throat.

“You’re implying that I am uncomfortable with our continued intimacy?”

“Uh … Yes?” Dean furrowed his brow. “I mean, remember the brothel? You were scared out of your mind.”

“That was because it was a situation that I did not want with a person I did not desire.”

Dean smiled. “So you want this? With me?”

“Of course, Dean.” He crossed the room until he was standing in front of Dean, then placed a hand over Dean’s heart. “You have always been what I wanted.”

Dean couldn’t stop the goofy grin that stretched across his face if he tried. He placed his hand over Castiel’s before bringing it down between them and lacing their fingers together. He brought his other hand up to cup the side of Castiel’s neck and brought their lips together. The kiss heated quickly, and Dean found himself quite impressed. Castiel was an excellent kisser for someone with so little experience. Dean thought of Meg and immediately crushed the spark of jealousy that ignited. He then thought of Jimmy, and that made him pull back. “Cas, what about Jimmy? Is he in there somewhere having a freakout?”

Castiel sighed. He looked regretful. “Dean, Jimmy has been dead for a long time.”

Dean blinked before grimacing. “What? Since when?”

“He died when Raphael destroyed my original vessel.”

“You mean back when Sam let Lucifer out of the cage?”

“Yes,” Castiel replied.

Dean was surprised, and Castiel appeared to be quite upset about it, so he squeezed his hand to comfort him. “So who’s is this?”

“It is my own,” Castiel explained. “An empty vessel created by my father to house my grace.”

Dean couldn’t help his smile. “Well, I hate what happened to poor Jimmy, but he’s in a better place now, right? Besides,” he kissed Castiel softly, “Now this isn’t creepy.”

Castiel huffed a small laugh. “I always enjoy hearing your perspective."


End file.
